Sunday, February 24, 2008

Spooky!

About a year ago, while on a plane home from LA, I was reading a scrapbook page. It was actually a photo of a scrapbook page. This particular page happened to spark a bit of emotion in me and I was some how "changed" inside. Really it was what the page said. It was something about happiness, which I feel I can never have too much of and at times feel that I could use a little push in that direction. It was one of those pushes that I need a couple of weeks ago. I sat in bed at 1 or 2 in the morning feeling all sorry for myself and my little scramble of a life when I remembered this page. I thought to my self, "who made that page?" The answer came quickly, Stacy Julian, a scraping queen of simple scrapbooks magazine and also the author of one of my most favorite books, Big Picture Scrapbooking. The next day I started browsing through the book again enjoying it just as much as I did the first time. While looking for the book I realized that I have WAY to MANY scrapbooking magazines lying around my scrap space. With in days I came up with a genus idea. I always go through them and tag the pages that inspire me, so I went in and cut out all those pages (and a few more along the way....sometimes almost the entire magazine!) and punched some holes and put all of them in a three ring binder. The left over pieces were recycled and gone. I then realized, much to a broken heart, that the "page" I was looking for was NOT in the book at all. I was so stinkin’ disappointed. So mad at my self for keeping these magazines around for years and years and then when I REALLY wanted one it was gone. Or was it? I have always kept my scrapbooking and card making idea books in different places. Well as I started to go through them I made a discovery, it was a simple scrapbooks magazine. (can I just say the ONLY scrapbooking mag in the whole pile). Filing through it I came across a page...I should say THE page. My stomach turned at the eerie-ness of it all. With all my idea books gone off to become insulation or recycled toilet paper I thought the page was lost in my memory forever. Suddenly, there it was staring at me. I was scared. What if it wasn't worth all the hoopla I had placed on it? What if it didn't inspire me to find "happiness" again and fill that little place in me that needed it? I stared at the page not sure of whether to read it or send it to the recycle bin. Then I got to thinking of all the times that Ms. Julian has inspired me, all the times when I've read her journaling (which by the way we should all do more of!) and laughed or cried or both. She is one of those people that can just put a rainbow around your heart. I wish I could be more like that; I wish I could ALWAYS feel good and bring out the best in everyone. I wish I could give sprinkles cupcakes to all and let them feel that warm fuzzy feeling deep down. You know, that senseless feeling you get with one of those itty bitty pleasure, like pretty pencils or pink bubble gum or a fancy blue tray from target. She produces these feeling all the time. Everyone that has seen her talk, taken one of her classes or just by reading her blog becomes overwhelmed with happiness and inspiration. Wow what a women. I realized I couldn’t possibly be disappointed by ANY (or nany if you are speaking Mikayla) of her pages. How could I? Now I bet you are all dying to know what the page said. The title of it is "altogether too happy" and to sum it up she was sad and mad at her life. Her dad says to her "It's too bad it's not about YOU anymore." Then she gets this great idea which I just loved: "No one can make me happy, but me. Happiness is a choice." Right there, right there it says it all. I didn't need that page to make me happy I just needed a reminder that only I can make myself happy. Enough said...right?! The best part is at the bottom of the page is says "lesson learned", again enough said! So, do you think this is spooky or what? I know, I know I am sure God decided to send me a little kick in the butt telling me to get over myself but did he have to freak me out by doing it? Spooky, spooky, spooky it should be October not February in the Kuehn house right now! Needless to say I am never recycling THIS magazine.

2 comments:

Jana said...

Ok, so now you need to scan the page in so we can all see it!! Or did you not find it?
Kelly, whenever you need a happy kick in the butt, call me...even before 4 and I'll be more then happy to help you!!

haikulovescrafts said...

Jana,
I just love you. Good idea on scanning the page...do you think it would be okay with copyright laws? Anyway remind me and I'll bring it next time we scrap!
ps I love the even before four...You are really funny!